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Your Fundamentals

We write blogs to convey emotions, ideas, and even events. Sometimes, though, words just don’t suffice. Yes, they help communicate some of what you are feeling, but they aren’t adequate because they just can’t be. 

If you really want to realize the depth of what I’m going to say – crank up  ‘The Winter’ by Balmorhea and then read on. 

Feeling lost is as human as an emotion can get. We live our lives pretending we control the world and yet, there are moments when everything falls into a frenzy and ‘control’ just becomes a word you can look up in the dictionary. This year has been amazing – it has been filled with sorrows, fears and a feeling of impending doom which were fought with or overcome by faith and love. There were moments where life seemed dark and I thought I had reached a dead-end, at other times it felt like I could touch the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Through all this, I have questioned truth. What do I know as the absolute truth? The answer was hard to come to terms with because I have no proof of anything. The only thing I know is that I want to believe and have faith in things.. small and big. Whether it means that I believe you are actually standing in front of me and I’m not hallucinating or whether it means that I want to thank some higher power for all the fortunes that have come my way. I don’t know what exists anymore, just that life is about feeling. We make what we can of it and go on with those fundamentals that we have convinced ourselves are true. 

Here’s the greatest part of it all – these “fundamentals” are chosen by us. They may be influenced by our upbringing or our experiences, but they are OURS. And that means, that you can mould them to accommodate what you want. They are yours to live with and yours to live by. 

Find what you want and adopt your fundamental. Just know that these moments are never coming back and positivity negates negativity. I want to look back and smile, perhaps even laugh. I want that shine in not just my eyes, but yours. So live a life that will make you happy when you look back on it in your final moments. Choose your own fundamentals.

Creatures of Habit

We are creatures of habit – all of us. What we see often is what we get used to seeing, and what we feel often doesn’t feel out of normal even if it is. Our minds seem to be easily trained to take in the frequent events or feelings of our lives and put them in the ‘normal basket’, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is normal.

For example… when I say I’m feeling good, I may not have got enough sleep or be the kind of physically fit that ‘good’ signifies in regular life. My good means that I am not as sleep deprived as I usually am, I’m less exhausted from regular events of my life than I usually am, and I’m not feeling overly sick. A frequent cough or cold does not take away from me feeling ‘good’, as it might for someone else. And these form my natural environment which doesn’t feel abnormal or different to me.. and resembles usual life.

So, since we are such habits of creatures, the only way to experience and learn more is to put ourselves out there in unfamiliar situations and FEEL what our senses have to offer. If I were to sit in a park in Paris, I would be experiencing something NEW instead of spending time with my guitar and laptop in my room, or if I was spending time in office.

Isn’t it the purpose of life to enjoy new experiences? Then why do we restrict ourselves out of fear of the unknown or apprehensions about leaving our comfort zone? I want to make the most of today, so right this moment, I’m going to make an effort to do something different.. something new.

Some things in life never change.. whether they be good or bad. It’s like of a story, there are always constants such as a beginning and en ending. I’ve realized that I often blunder and hope against hope that one of these constants of life might have changed.. and time and time again, I realize that it’s all just an illusion.

We are meant to live with some constants in our lives, but somehow I can’t fathom that and always end up falling prey to the belief that all things change. Essentially, I just fell in my self-dug hole once again and I’m sitting here teary-eyed after realizing the same thing yet again.

So today, for a change, I want to ask for help from the Universe. I want to be able to live with this particular constant and move on. I want to stop  being an emotional fool and falling in these traps of hope that I build for myself…  because some things never change.

Break The Cycle of Time

There’s a saint in each one of us, buried under the many experiences that have covered us in layers of dust. Chisel away at the dust, and watch the soul shine through in all its purity and with all its wisdom. That is your saint, the true you that has been lost yet again in the veil of another lifetime.

Knowledge is with you, in the extensive pool of consciousness at your disposal… tap into it and step forward, break the cycle of time.

A Midori Sour Please!

Often times when you head to pubs or bars, you see people with a drink in their hand and wonder if it tastes any good. In fact, the people who aren’t frequent drinkers are often under the impression that all drinks must necessarily taste alcoholic.

Well, here’s one that tastes nothing like alcohol and will definitely not affect your state of mind if you are the kind of person who goes to a bar for company and is not chasing after obliteration.

Midori Sour – A simple combination of 3 parts sweet and sour mix with 1 part Midori (melon liquor)

This is definitely the way to go for people who don’t drink to be drunk and for those who don’t like the taste of alcohol…

I’d hold this bright green drink any day over other bitter tasting cocktails.

Thanks To Friends

Sometimes in life one doubts one’s decisions… Sometimes I wonder if I have made the right choices when it comes to people. Often times I’m wrong and on other occasions I have a gem of a person as a friend.

Right now I’m sitting here counting my close friends and realizing that I am very lucky to have a lot of people  in my life who will be there if I ever need them. This is me taking the time out to say thanks to them… and to tell them that I’ll always be here no matter what.

Woot Woot! My OPT application has been approved. I get to see friends again.. real soon! And Laila’s in India!

So, yeah I kinda forgot about this whole writing blog thing. My apologies. I’ve been catching up with old friends now that I’m back in India and have nothing super important to do besides wait. I’m attempting to make a trip to Pune and Bangalore soon to see friends. It should be a good time if everything works out the way we’re hoping it would.

Nothing more to say right now besides expressing my excitement on the whole OPT thing and the trip. yayz!

Fortune Cookie

Recently, I was sitting at a Chinese restaurant with a friend and I mentioned that I might blog about this event.. so here we go.

I have no future that I can see… let’s eat Chinese food and ignore that in a few days time I will probably be nothing but a bucket full of tears. Funny conversations and laughter follow… and then come the fortune cookies.

I open mine… and it asks me to focus on long term goals… goals that I don’t have. My friend opens hers.. and it has no fortune. Not a blank piece of paper.. really, there’s no paper at all. I think our fortune cookies were switched. So, just wanna say to you.. oh you empty fortune cookie owner, focus on your long term goals… and let me focus on the void.


People come and go… it’s the memories you make with them that stay forever. A very weird incident happened today. I was sitting in my math class with the professor teaching us about cross products and complements of sets. As can be expected, I was bored out of my mind because these Venn diagrams she was drawing on the board were just a reminder of the little circles representing sets that the teacher made us draw in like… 8th grade.

Suddenly, I had a flashback of my class in highschool. I was sitting there on similar chairs, looking at a person speak and write on the board. The rest of the students staring at her talk and her mouth just moving… imparting knowledge, as they say. It was all so familiar. Yes, not everyone had black hair but the rest of it was just the same. That’s what life has been about ever since first grade. It has been about learning what the person standing in front of the class has to teach. I wanted to look around to see the friends I had spent all my years of schooling with, but I knew they weren’t there… they weren’t sitting next to me doodling on their notebooks or writing notes in weird scripts we invented. Those are people that are in the past and their memories stay with me. They are the people who have gone while the rest have stepped into my life…

Yes, they have left but their memories remain…

A Flake Of Miracle

“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”

We’ve all become too engrossed in matters of little importance and have a talent for ignoring the miracles that life has planted in our worlds. Our “trained” eye is trained to miss these miracles that bring joy to one’s heart. Mostly these miracles are small and need to be searched… but then there are miracles that are hard to ignore… the miracles that demand participation in their beauty.

It snowed in South Carolina yesterday. I was walking on campus and miniscule flakes of snow brushed against my face and landed on the fur of my coat. It was a miracle that brought pure joy to my heart. It felt like each flake held an unexplained dose of happiness, energy and love for life. Each flake had the power to breathe into my soul and when the soul is happy it simply emits positive energy.

Last evening was a miracle that may just have left its everlasting memory in my mind. I’m lucky… to see such miracles, experience such happiness and have good friends to share my world with…