No worries, I’m planning to make up for this lack of vacationing in my life by traveling to some unusual place next year. I don’t want to go to some place touristy – maybe something rustic would be the right choice. Yes, I know I have a huge travel list, but this time I’ll waver from it. No five-start hotels, no special treatment because of the family, nothing – just pure traveling with a backpack. That’s precisely what I’m longing for… some wilderness, a cottage or something, and the sounds of nature. It’s something I imagine in my head, so I’m guessing it’s something worth doing.

Merry Christmas everyone! Live it up and take that step beyond the usual – life’s too short.

Sometimes you just want to look at someone you love and tell them the truth. You wish that they would listen to you without asking questions. It isn’t that you don’t want to answer them, but that answering these questions would hurt. I wish I was a kid still, cuz then this wouldn’t be so hard.

Maybe there’s a right and wrong way. It’s even possible that this is the wrong way… I won’t contest it. It’s just what works best in my case. The bottled up stuff doesn’t faze me. It doesn’t break through and touch my soul or leave me scathed. It’s sometimes when things are actually verbally acknowledged that my calm is disturbed. I’d rather avoid such situations altogether and go my own way… instead of leaving with a bitterness embedded in my mind. I guess that’s somewhat hard to understand for some people… call me what you want, I’d rather just step away from tense situations and leave it all unsaid.

Those who know me, know that I’m always there even if it doesn’t seem that way.. and I guess that’s all that matters.

I have been festooning my life with people and events, when all it really requires is thoughts and ideas. A dreamy and peripatetic life is what I wish for. It’s when I feel settled that the restlessness sets in and my feet just want to wander and lose the ties that have helped me settle…

I’ve learnt over time that there are very few ties that have the strength to keep you grounded. The rest are simply superficial and unnecessary. They need to be slashed, abandoned and left to become the material memories are made of. That is their sole purpose – to be a reminder of times that have gone by… a messenger of sorts, flooding your mind with images and memories that have molded you into who you are.

Yes, it’s time for another one of those vacations…

I’m devastated right now, although you might argue that such a reaction isn’t warranted. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I will have to switch gears and goals to reach where I want to go. It’s tough realigning when you are running full-speed towards something specific.

I guess it’s time to learn one more art in life

Here are the moments recently that have made me happy, and some of these may seem silly to you but that’s just how it is:

1.  I had a busy day at work as usual and since I’m working out of client-site these days, my drive home is no less than 1.25hours every day. It’s on my way back that I was driving the car at about 70km/hr on a road that I frequent. The music was playing but I have no memory of the song. Sun-down was a few minutes away and suddenly the street lights came on. It wasn’t dark and neither was it light; there weren’t many cars on the road and in the emptiness the street lights reflected lightly in the cloudy weather.  The scene reminded me of Harry Potter and how this scene would fall perfectly in a fantasy book. And this made me unimaginable happy! My heart seemed to jump with joy at this minor occurrence which seemed like my miracle of the day

2. Again, same old long drive to work. I was stuck in heavy traffic and as the road curved slanting downwards, a light green plant that I don’t know the name of swayed on my right side. It was a certain height above the car as I was on a bridge of sorts, and it’s gentle swaying in the breeze set the mood for my day

3. About 2-3 days ago, I was driving to this place for some personal work, and on the way this little girl of about 4, dressed in a dusty, faded purple dress was attempting to cross the street. I slowed down almost to a crawling speed – you could have walked faster than my car was going if you tried. The girl looked up. She had this animated look on her face – a look of pride at crossing the street alone, and also a look of caution. Her expression said it all, while she ran in short steps to the divider and looked back at me with pride in her eyes. I was reminded of the first time I ever crossed the street and realized that that feeling will never come back. Her look, her tiny steps and hops, and the pride and caution on her face float in front of my eyes even now, and I find myself smiling.

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“Remember, the first road to God is prayer, the second is joy.”

If you know me at all, you know I’m not one to pray. It doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in a higher power, just that I whisper my prayers unconsciously before I drift off to sleep every night in form of gratitude for my day, and my dreams and wishes.

But maybe, my road is the second one – joy. I’ve been working on things in my life to find the balance and to drive myself towards contentment and happiness even when I’m angry or impatient. I’ve realized that being grateful for little things in life helps!

Perhaps this is all because praying needs a degree of faith that I don’t yet have. My mind’s been trained to not believe in something I read or learn easily. But, it’s a road I’m prepared to take.

For example… when I say I’m feeling good, I may not have got enough sleep or be the kind of physically fit that ‘good’ signifies in regular life. My good means that I am not as sleep deprived as I usually am, I’m less exhausted from regular events of my life than I usually am, and I’m not feeling overly sick. A frequent cough or cold does not take away from me feeling ‘good’, as it might for someone else. And these form my natural environment which doesn’t feel abnormal or different to me.. and resembles usual life.

So, since we are such habits of creatures, the only way to experience and learn more is to put ourselves out there in unfamiliar situations and FEEL what our senses have to offer. If I were to sit in a park in Paris, I would be experiencing something NEW instead of spending time with my guitar and laptop in my room, or if I was spending time in office.

Isn’t it the purpose of life to enjoy new experiences? Then why do we restrict ourselves out of fear of the unknown or apprehensions about leaving our comfort zone? I want to make the most of today, so right this moment, I’m going to make an effort to do something different.. something new.