We write blogs to convey emotions, ideas, and even events. Sometimes, though, words just don’t suffice. Yes, they help communicate some of what you are feeling, but they aren’t adequate because they just can’t be.
If you really want to realize the depth of what I’m going to say – crank up ’The Winter’ by Balmorhea and then read on.
Feeling lost is as human as an emotion can get. We live our lives pretending we control the world and yet, there are moments when everything falls into a frenzy and ‘control’ just becomes a word you can look up in the dictionary. This year has been amazing – it has been filled with sorrows, fears and a feeling of impending doom which were fought with or overcome by faith and love. There were moments where life seemed dark and I thought I had reached a dead-end, at other times it felt like I could touch the light at the end of the tunnel.
Through all this, I have questioned truth. What do I know as the absolute truth? The answer was hard to come to terms with because I have no proof of anything. The only thing I know is that I want to believe and have faith in things.. small and big. Whether it means that I believe you are actually standing in front of me and I’m not hallucinating or whether it means that I want to thank some higher power for all the fortunes that have come my way. I don’t know what exists anymore, just that life is about feeling. We make what we can of it and go on with those fundamentals that we have convinced ourselves are true.
Here’s the greatest part of it all – these “fundamentals” are chosen by us. They may be influenced by our upbringing or our experiences, but they are OURS. And that means, that you can mould them to accommodate what you want. They are yours to live with and yours to live by.
Find what you want and adopt your fundamental. Just know that these moments are never coming back and positivity negates negativity. I want to look back and smile, perhaps even laugh. I want that shine in not just my eyes, but yours. So live a life that will make you happy when you look back on it in your final moments. Choose your own fundamentals.