This is my first Christmas/ holiday season away from family. Strangely, this time I’m the one who is home. Everyone else is away – vacationing up in the Himalayas. Yep, I’m grumpy about it because apparently I don’t know what to do with myself when my family isn’t around… and hence, I’m blogging about it.
No worries, I’m planning to make up for this lack of vacationing in my life by traveling to some unusual place next year. I don’t want to go to some place touristy – maybe something rustic would be the right choice. Yes, I know I have a huge travel list, but this time I’ll waver from it. No five-start hotels, no special treatment because of the family, nothing – just pure traveling with a backpack. That’s precisely what I’m longing for… some wilderness, a cottage or something, and the sounds of nature. It’s something I imagine in my head, so I’m guessing it’s something worth doing.
Merry Christmas everyone! Live it up and take that step beyond the usual – life’s too short.
Some emotions are so hard to share, and thoughts so hard to voice. It’s like speaking about them will make them a harsh reality… a reality shared that can’t be taken back. I want to throw a fit right now, be demanding, because I know this is probably the last chance I have for it. Yet, if I say anything right now, questions will come pouring down and feelings will get hurt. It’s not my intention to hurt anyone, or bring them more pain than life already has to offer all of us…
Sometimes you just want to look at someone you love and tell them the truth. You wish that they would listen to you without asking questions. It isn’t that you don’t want to answer them, but that answering these questions would hurt. I wish I was a kid still, cuz then this wouldn’t be so hard.
Sometimes things are better unsaid, bottled up and left to ferment.. perhaps forever. It seems simpler that way. Much easier to let it turn into an aged ale than open it so it spills everywhere, staining everything around you and leaving permanent damage.
Maybe there’s a right and wrong way. It’s even possible that this is the wrong way… I won’t contest it. It’s just what works best in my case. The bottled up stuff doesn’t faze me. It doesn’t break through and touch my soul or leave me scathed. It’s sometimes when things are actually verbally acknowledged that my calm is disturbed. I’d rather avoid such situations altogether and go my own way… instead of leaving with a bitterness embedded in my mind. I guess that’s somewhat hard to understand for some people… call me what you want, I’d rather just step away from tense situations and leave it all unsaid.
Those who know me, know that I’m always there even if it doesn’t seem that way.. and I guess that’s all that matters.